Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize