Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
