You're completely useless in the revolution.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
