You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
