She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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