I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
