so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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