Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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