It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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