Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
