I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
did i walk over a car last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
