Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he fucked my hip out of place.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
