The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize