when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
