We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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