i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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