We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
