Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
