Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
