Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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