More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
