Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize