he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
third nipple confirmed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
