And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize