She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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