Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
