doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
