So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
