ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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