The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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