I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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