We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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