My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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