According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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