think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
