i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
