Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
