Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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