I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
