In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You took a bar mat shot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
