I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
