So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
