Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
