Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
