After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
