Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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