It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
