bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
