Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
