Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
