Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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