i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
