Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
