everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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