Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You work out of a Hotel?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize