As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
not ubering you a puppy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize