Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize