I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
