i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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