I'm eating all of the evidence.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
