There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
