sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
