i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
