I'm so fucking centered right now
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
