I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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