I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
