Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Barsexuality is the new black.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
