lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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