My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
