i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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