just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
