Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
