I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize